


oh Wonderland, I love

by bluhawk



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Established Relationship, I'm Sorry, M/M, Out of Character, Songfic, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22776832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluhawk/pseuds/bluhawk
Summary: Sometimes to love is to accept. Sometimes to love is to let go.But sometimes that's just too hard.Songfic for the song Welcome to Wonderland by Anson Seabra.
Relationships: Jonathan Crane/Jervis Tetch
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	oh Wonderland, I love

**Author's Note:**

> There's a chance the pacing is awkward on mobile, I still have a hard time with this site.  
> Little known fact: I cried while writing this.  
> It's sad boy hours, y'all.

It was nearly Valentine’s Day. Jonathan supposed that was cruel irony, destined to torment him as payback for his crimes.

The Gotham General Hospital is by no means a “fun” place to be – although “fun” is not really a word to describe Gotham – but it has improved remarkably through the years. Well, he hadn’t been in here since the Bat had retired, so he wouldn’t exactly know. Still, it was much cleaner, more technically advanced and… the hospice was almost pretty. Soothing colours, calming music, even a pastor walking around the rooms. It was as beautiful as it was tragic. He had to give Mr. Wayne credit for that. For everything.

It was because of his input Jervis was even able to receive treatment so fast. Usually criminals only received care in their respective penitentiaries, and the line felt never-ending. But, as Jervis was a former employee, Bruce Wayne himself had insisted on arranging his care when he’d fallen ill. It could’ve also had something to do with the blonde’s friendship with Wayne’s late butler, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore.  
When the prognosis was given, he felt like the ground shattered under him. No matter how far medical science had gone, some illnesses were still considered a death sentence. Especially at his age. That’s why Jon was so shocked when Jervis had simply nodded and allowed himself to be taken to emergency care. He had refused all treatment apart from pain relievers and signed an organ testament. As soon as he’d arrived in his room, he’d begun writing a will. It was fairly obvious he’d already accepted it all.  
But Jonathan could not.

\---

It was late at the evening when they were called. The on-duty nurse gave a clear message: it was a matter of hours. Edward and Harley had gotten a special permit to leave, Bruce Wayne - who had asked to be present in case of emergencies - arrived within 15 minutes and Jonathan… Jonathan hadn’t left the hospice for a week or so. Where else would he be, Arkham? No, he had stayed, both to keep company and to take care of the one he cared for. He’d read Alice in Wonderland over and over again, forced Jervis to eat and drink, and kept checking his heart rate monitor every hour throughout the night. He’d tried his best to stay positive, but eventually he had to give in. Time was running out. There was little he could do.

Jon sat on a chair right next to the bed, with the others staying near the doorway. Harley was babbling on about Ivy sending her love but not being able to come whilst Edward attempted to calm her down, Mr. Wayne discussed with the nurse, but Jonathan couldn’t find words to say at a time like this. The only person he’d lost was his grandmother, and he’d wished her a happy trip down to Hell at her grave. And he was Jonathan Crane, after all. The Master of Fear. He wasn’t exactly known for having a soft side. He shook his head helplessly.

As if on cue, Jervis called out to him. Jonathan glanced at him, seeing the love over the other’s smooth features. Deep within his shining sapphires, there was acceptance. He was ready to go.  
But Jon wasn’t ready to let go.

Everyone around stopped in their tracks when Jervis began humming a tune. Although the room was dimly lit, the blonde felt like he was under a spotlight all of a sudden. He hesitated for a heartbeat.  
“Wel-“ he coughed abruptly, then started again with a shaking voice.

Welcome to Wonderland, we've got it all  
Potions and pastries that make you grow tall  
Forests and cottages, castles and cards that can talk  
Jonathan couldn’t stop his small smile: it soothed him to hear the other’s voice. It almost made him forget the dire situation surrounding them. He gave a small thumbs-up to Harley and Eddie, to show that Jervis wasn’t simply losing it. No, this song he knew all too well.

Welcome to Wonderland, look where you're at  
Maddest of hatters, the Cheshire Cat  
(Jervis made a tiny gesture as he sang of the Hatter, and Jon gave a benevolent laugh. It was almost comforting. Despite everything, he was still hanging on.)  
Magical cabins and lovely white rabbits with clocks  
Dancing through a dream underneath the stars  
Laughing 'til the morning comes  
Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart, oh, Wonderland I love

As Jervis took a breath in, they noticed how silent the room was. The others were tense, which caused the smaller man to look up nervously. This isn’t how he wanted this moment to pan out, he did not need their distress. As if sensing his thoughts, Jonathan began:

Welcome to Wonderland, I'll be your guide  
Holding your hand under sapphire skies  
Let's go exploring or we could just go for a walk  
Welcome to Wonderland, where should we go  
There's a tea party along down the road  
Make an appearance and maybe they'll sing us a song

Both of them gave a sigh of relief when they noticed Edward’s compassionate smile – the atmosphere was easing up, at last. Jervis turned his head to lock eyes with Jon as they sang in unison.

Dancing through a dream underneath the stars  
Laughing 'til the morning comes  
Everyone that leaves has a heavy heart  
oh, Wonderland I love

Jonathan began delicately swaying their hands in tandem, eliciting a breathy laugh from the blonde. He didn’t dare stand up, fearing his knees would buckle. Truthfully, he hadn’t been quite so afraid in a long time.

Nothing around here is quite as it seems  
Not sure if anything's real or a dream  
And the only thing sure from the start  
Is the song that's inside of your heart  
Don't let it leave

Jervis’ voice was slightly hoarse as he took in another shallow breath. He never was very good at masking his pain – the opposite, really, he’d start screaming at the sight of a raised hand (but that was its own can of worms to open). Still, the others tried to stay strong, ushering them to continue. At least that’s what he could read of it. The blonde rubbed circles onto Jon’s palm, startling him back to the present. His expression calm, but frenzied.

Only at that point did Jonathan realize he was crying.

If this was a dream, then at least I've got  
Memories for when morning comes  
Now that I must leave with a heavy heart  
oh, Wonderland I

“I love…” he lowered his arm, laying their entwined hands onto the bed. Instinctively, Jonathan leaned down to hover over Jervis’ face, a stream of tears dropping onto the pillow.  
“I love you,” Jervis quietly sang out, still smiling gently.  
They stayed still for a beat or two, Jon closing his eyes and grasping his beloved’s hand tight.

He didn’t let go when Jervis’ hold slackened.  
He didn’t let go when Harley burst into tears.  
He didn’t let go when Edward whispered his condolences.

He didn’t let go until Jervis Tetch was announced dead, at February 14th 00:03.

**Author's Note:**

> Another little known fact: when my uncle died, his last words were "I love you" to my aunt.  
> So, yeah. That's where this is coming from.  
> Thank you for reading, I love you all.


End file.
